I AM Grateful

Ah…gratitude. Lots of folks have been discussing gratitude the past couple of weeks. I would really like to explore and discuss with you, my fellow third-eye spiritual pals and heathenistic aquaintances how I incorperate this thankfulness into my every day life.
On Thursdays, I’m forever gazing at my drenched newspaper. Soaked like a sewer sponge, it sits at the bottom of my driveway, haphazardly been thrown out of a car window by a minimum wage lard-ass vigilante who can’t even take the time to place it in my mailbox or on the front porch. Folks, all the rice in China won’t get that piece of literary driftwood dry. I am so grateful that this dick-wagon has taught me to treat my own employment with the upmost respect and to do a job right.
Then, my friends, there is my next door neighbour. He owns a dog that looks like it’s a cross between a German Shephard and a Husky. It’s a shitting Nazi. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful dog, but the owner just lets it defecate all over the backyard. Of course not on their own precious lawn. Nay, they let it come on to my garden and let the shitsicles pile so high I’m starting to wonder if they are trying to do a re-creation of Easter Island in front of my living room window. So what great life lesson have I learned from this, you ponder? I am grateful that I have learned how to treat other people’s property with respect, unlike this bubonic shit-kitten of a man.
And lastly – although it seems I could go on for an eternity – I pay homage to the customer who walks in to buy groceries two minutes before the store closes. Folks, never, ever be that person. If you do this you will certainly win the golden trophy for being the biggest weapons-grade douchebag on the planet. I am grateful that I respect other people’s lives and do my shopping at a respectful time.
I’m not complaining. I’m just expressing how grateful I am. 😀

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