I used to believe that growing older is a privilege denied to many, but I’ve changed my mind.

Let’s face it, your brain slowly fries like an egg. You forget everything and you repeat everything. You repeat everything, you repeat everything, eh?
Your joints hurt like hell, and your limbs become as weak as a boarding-house cup of tea. You fall on the floor trying to put on your clothes and you can’t get up. Ah…and dammit, the life alert is laying on the freakin’ couch. You’re left ugly-naked on the floor for a few days until somebody eventually finds you half dead on the decoratively patterned carpet.
Cooking becomes an impossible challenge. You slop tomato soup all over your cupboards and linoleum tiling like a homicidal murder scene.
You can’t see a damn thing anymore and your eyes sting so bad they’re like two fighting blowfish.
Eventually your hair turns grey and naturally backcombs itself into a witchy pooh bouffant.
You apply makeup like Tammy Faye Baker on your face that looks like a bulldog chewing on a wasp. Your imperfect pencilled in eyebrows look like two caterpillars contemplating suicide.
The day finally arrives when your body loses complete control. You explosive diarrhea and piss all over yourself like a sewage troll while you scream at everyone to fuck off.
Ah yes, the golden years.

Happy Easter, folks.
Yours truly, Smartie Sprinkles.
Oh boy, ain’t it the truth! Having spent a lot of time with 90 year old family members I have decided to set aside a “housekeeper fund”, should I get that old. And I warned my daughter not to spare my feelings should I be caught walking around with stained, less-than-fresh clothing and questionable makeup.
Happy Easter!
Clumsy Sugar Kiss
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lol. Hi, Deb. Same here, and this is the way it unfortunately always ends. Getting old sucks. PS….I like your handle. hahaha. Happy Easter.
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Trixy Carrot Cake…
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Hello, Trixy. hahaha. Happy Easter.
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Same to you Smarty. Hope you had or are having a wonderful holiday.
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Very funny!
I’m trying to age gracefully, but my body (and the laws of physics) have a different plan for me.
Whisper Smartie Peep
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I’ve been around a lot of old folks and it’s never graceful in the end. Thanks for reading, Whisper….er, I mean Biff. 😀
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I agree. One of my big fears is that I will pass away while doing something very stupid.
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Daffodil Sparkle Pop… I like it 🙂
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LOL. Hi, JoAnn. That is a great name. 😀 Thanks for stopping by.
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I agree…
And the quote was🤣
Mine is Purple Carrot cake 😋
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