I’m a Leper

Not really, but I feel like one.

I changed my diet. Not because I wanted to, but because I broke out into a giant rash.

I’m one massive itch ball. I’m hoping I don’t turn into a festered blob of ooze before I can figure out what the hell I’m allergic to. I don’t want to end up at the Scabdale Home for Lepers. Eczema itches like a mosquito bite mating with a big lump of measles.

You want grocery service? Here, let me give you a hand. Hand falls off …………….SPLOINK!

I think it’s a food allergy. I have to cut out wheat, gluten, corn, dairy, soy and eggs for thirty days, then introduce each one back, one at a time. Yeah, so for now what’s left to eat? Yard waste and blowfish, I suppose.

I’m on day three of this rabbit cuisine and it went okay. I mean, eating clean isn’t exactly exciting. It doesn’t pump my nab. At least I’ve been spared of having any major cravings for chocolate or cheeseballs.

I’m taking a multi-vitamin, primrose oil, vitamin D, probiotic, antihistamine, cannabis oil in skin cream, and non-perfume everything else in my entire existence. Hopefully this little cocktail of anti-itch ingredients stops me from ripping the skin off my flesh like a zombie in Night Of The Living Dead. Okay, but a sexy zombie, let’s be realistic. Ha! I’ll tell you one thing though…

Feelin’ itchy makes you bitchy!

It’s only been a couple of days, but so far it looks like I’m starting to heal a little. Do you want to see my rash?


12 thoughts on “I’m a Leper

  1. As a child, I was ok eating bananas. However after the age of 22 or something, I started feeling burning sensation in abdomen. Years later, I was casually browsing books on Amazon and found a book titled – Eat Right 4 Your Type. Basically, the book shares information on diet based on your blood type. My blood type is AB+ve and in this book, it was written clearly that my abdomen will pain (like burning sensation) after eating bananas! I was amazed with this information. You can also buy this book and know what extra there is to know about different food you can try or avoid.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hi, Tushar. I am avoiding many foods. Everyone’s been telling me my problem is I’m probably allergic to gluten. I guess I will find out for sure after the 30 days. I will check out the book. 😀 Have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was hit with Gluten intolerance suddenly.
    All my life I had a “Cast Iron” stomach. I could eat anything, in any combination of foods. Eat ice cream with sour, unripe grapes; Beer Floats, not Root beer with ice cream but alcoholic beer.
    Then shortly afterwards I had to go on a FODMAP diet. I was allergic to certain fruit sugars. I love watermelon, but now if I eat some I get so bloated that my wife says I look about 12 months pregnant!
    Hang in there, it could be worse. Keep smiling. (It makes people wonder what you’re up to.) 🙂 – ed

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How’s the diet going? I’ve broken out a few times..one was a lobster allergy.. the second.. I have no idea! Do not ever take a hot bath when you are itchy… Makes shit worse 🙄..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s going good. I’m attempting to heal myself from the inside out. Blood pressure went back to normal and I lost 15 pounds thus far. No more body pain. Still a bit of a rash on my hands and feet, but on my arms and legs it’s gone. Personally, I think it’s gluten but who knows, it could be a combination of many allergens.


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