HOW TO SURVIVE COVID-19

Hello, folks. We are living in scary times.

You have to wash your clothing, I mean everything, every single time you leave your house and then go back home. Then touch – nothing – and go upstairs and shower with hot water and soap.

The Coronavirus sticks to hair and clothing so if you aren’t doing this you are bringing the virus into your house.

Spray anything else you brought out with you with 70% alcohol. Your watch, keys, wallet, shoes, coat, hat, and mitts. Everything has to be disinfected or washed.

Door knobs, handles, walls, light switches, anything you may have touched needs to be sprayed with alcohol.

Any groceries you buy have to be wiped down with alcohol.

Keep your hands away from your face.

Stop the virus at its entry point. Take 1000 mg of Quercetin and 50 mg of Zinc. They are anti-virals that are safe and inexpensive.

Every cell has a lock, every virus has a key. Quercetin and Zinc puts glue in the lock.

From your friendly neighbourhood lab tech and grocer.

Take care.

~GW

Coronavirus Words

I’m laying here in bed – alone. Nobody wants to come near me.

I’ve been on the front lines, working eight hours a day or more all week, ringing in hoards of toilet paper, hand sanitizers and everything else people can get their dirty little hands on.

I’m exhausted.

The CDC said that everyone should avoid anywhere that has over 250 people or more. Well, one thousand or more people go through my line every day.

My place of employment informed us they don’t want us handling customer’s shopping bags, but they are is still making me handle money and Airmiles so really, what’s the point? The Corona Virus is going to travel on the money.

I’ve been wearing gloves and I’ve used sanitizer. I’m not touching my face. I have tried to be diligent. Does anyone care that I am exposed? No, as long as the grocery store doesn’t close, and there is still somebody available to ring in their chips and other processed shit so that they can bunker down, germ free.

I don’t even want to go to work, but dammit, I need the money.

Only one person out of thousands asked me if I have enough food. ONE.

Isn’t that grand?

I find humanity cold and disgusting.

~GW

Literally.

BOO.DEAD

Hey fellow bloggers, check this out…

Visiting Emma’s Back Porch.
Boo! The alcoholic, drinking swearing haunted doll makes an appearance sharing a beer here which he actually drinks! Here with Patrick Cross researching Boo! Watch for more upcoming photos and Evps from Boo! On Tour at other haunted locations!

See more pictures and adventures with Boo on Patrick’s Facebook page…Hilarious!

https://www.facebook.com/patrickcrossghosts

~GW

Coronavirus and Other Nasties

I’m at work. A lady strolls up to the cash with her son and he has pink eye.

The child is wiping his crusted eye, then he puts the pink eye medication up on the conveyer belt. Then his mother hands the precious disease bundle her Airmiles card, and he hands it to the cashier.

UGH…pathogens. The whole front end had to be disinfected.

OMG, did it not clue into her thick head that this virus is contagious? Of course, it probably did, but you know what? She didn’t care. Pink eye is airborne, never mind the shit load of virus on his fingers. It’s not the kid’s fault though, she’s the twat.

It pisses me off to no end. People are as sharp as a bag of wet mice.

Folks, that’s the problem. Nobody cares, or they are just ignorant. People are dirty, filthy pigs who have absolutely no hygiene and they couldn’t care less if they infect the entire human race. Once they catch something, they aren’t bothered one iota if they give it to you or kill anyone else around them. I’ve heard folks admit it.

They laugh and say, “I like to share things. If I get it, everyone should have it.”

Yeah, that’s funny if you’re an asshole.

Now it’s flu season and I want to constantly wash my hands and spray Lysol into anyone’s face who even slightly coughs near me. Better yet, let me wear a hazmat suit at work.

I started wearing disposable gloves because of all the dick-wads who lick their fingers and then hand me money.

Pandemics are spread like the Coronavirus, because once people get it, they just blow germs over everything. God forbid they must stay home and miss out on a butter sale.

At the end of the day you better hope and pray you have a good immune system, because people who knowingly have the plague will have no guilt about shaking your hand or sneezing into your grapes.

If you do get sick via some ignoramus idiot, The Grocery Whisperer has your back. Check out my other blog about how to kill a virus. Keep all these ingredients handy.

https://thegrocerywhisperer.wordpress.com/2019/03/27/how-to-kill-a-virus/

Be smart out there, and be well.

~GW

Living The Dream

Hello fellow blogzonians. Did you miss me?

Well, I haven’t been around much, that’s because I got locked out of my blog. Yeah, for two whole months.

Big frickin’ whoopie doodles, right? Well, a lot has happened since Christmas. You missed out on so many of my brain warping whisperings.

My life is fantastic right now, but I’m still plagued by assholic, privileged shitheads…what some might refer to as customers, meandering into my workspace, making my day as miserable as they can possibly muster. Alas, at least I don’t live with them. Then I’d really want to shoot myself in the head.

I don’t understand how somebody can stand there, screaming in my face like a tantruming toddler and expect a positive outcome. It makes me want to help them even less.

One day I worked a long shift and at the end of the day I felt like I’d been hit by a baseball bat, a train and a semi carrying a large cargo of razor blades.  I felt incredibly tired.

A lady walked up to the cash with a face so low she could clean the floors with her chin. I asked her if she wanted a bag, and she snapped, “NO!”

Okay, that’s fine. I guess she’s not using any magic words today.

I rang through the rest of her items and then asked her, “would you like a bag?”

Her eyeballs popped out of her sockets and her face turned as red as an inferno. “You already asked me if I wanted a bag!” she screamed loudly.

“Okay sorry I forgot, I’m tired!” Jesus…I thought she was going to grab her French bread and beat me with it.

The world is filled with crabby ass people who have no manners.

~GW

Christmas Reflections

I love Christmas because I love to spend time with my family and friends, the people I care about. Anybody who knows me well realizes that I am not a materialistic person. I guess it’s good in many respects because I don’t expect expensive gifts, fancy presents or money. There is nothing I love more than to cook a delicious meal, share stories and laugh my ass off during the holidays. I’m a postiive and happy person.

Easy right?

Well, I really wish more folks could encompass the same ideals as I do, because truthfully I’ve never experienced so many miserable, mean, nasty, impatient and sour people in my entire life as I have this past week at work. It’s really annoying.

I mean, seriously. If you don’t like Christmas, don’t celebrate it. Honestly, if you’re going to max out your credit card and stress about it, stop taking it out on me. Smiling won’t make your face explode.

Wake up. You don’t need the latest this or that. Thingamabobs won’t make you any happier. Getting into debt will just make your life hard.

The most valuable thing a person can give me is their time. Well, the way a person treats me is equally as valuable…but for me time is a biggie.

Because lets face it, you’re not going to be on the planet that long – time is short- and you can’t take any of that materializtic glitzy shit you obsess over into the afterlife. All you can take with you is love and memories.

Truth be told, most of your shit will end up in the trash, on Ebay or at your local Goodwill, anyway. It’s inevitable. You gain nothing and you own nothing. Everything you have is borrowed for a little while and then scatters into oblivion once you die.

So the moral of this story is to stop being a miserable shit-head and appreciate those around you. Don’t take things for granted and apppreciate what you already have. You have more than you realize. Cherish it.

~GW

Bag Hags

Hello fellow blogzillians. 😀

A lady came in the store one day and I asked her if she needed bags.

“No, I have my own bags,” she responded.

She handed me a bag and I wanted to hurl my last three suppers. It teemed with dirt, old bacterial meat stains and God knows what other type of plague crawling around inside her bag of horrors.

I just kind of dropped her items inside thinking…ew, ew, ew, ew.

Like seriously, have some self respect. Wash your shit. Then folks wonder how they get food poisoning. Perhaps it could be because you’re a disgusting pig. Reusable bags do not mean you can skip laundry day.

I wear gloves, but sometimes I feel like I need to wear an entire hazmat suit.

Then yesterday, a man came into the store and placed a few items on the checkout for me to bag. He brought out a cloth bag and It covered in so much dog hair, it almost looked like cousin IT. You could literally wire brush it and call it Fluffy.

“Um, I am severly allergic to dogs,” I explained. “So unless you want to drive me to the emergency room and put me on a life saving breathing machine, I can’t bag your things.” I wouldn’t touch that thing with a ten foot pole.

All that hair probably got all inside his food. It was just really gross. No, just……no. Yuck.

If you’re a dirty bugger, you don’t need to announce it to the world.

~GW

Phone Groan

Hello, everyone. Yeah, I’m still working at the grocery store. Necessity or insanity, I’m not sure which.

A lady walked up to my cash talking on her cell phone. Well, you should all realize by now this behaviour drives me batty. It’s beyond bad mannered.

Anyhoo…

I ask her if she would like a bag and I get completely ignored.

I repeated myself…

“Ma’am, would you like a bag?” (Insert noise of crickets chirping)

So I started shoving everything in bags anyway.

“Ma’am, how would you like to pay? With credit, debit or cash? Ma’am…Hello?”

Then she has the audacity to lift her hand in front of my face and wave it like the Queen, making grunting noises as if to say I’m disturbing her phone call. “Oourgh, oourgh, oourgh!”

Seriously? She’s ruffling my dander. Okay, now I’m starting to get pissed off. I get ornery when I’m pissed off. This means war.

So then I started talking. “How many bags would you like? How would you like to pay? Debit, credit, or cash? Cold weather isn’t it? Boy, be careful you don’t get a sore neck holding your phone like that! Would you like me to put a produce bag on your meat? Those cookies are a really good price, aren’t they? We have a lot of things on sale today. Well, thanks for the attentive conversation. You have a really nice day now!”

She didn’t look impressed but too fucking bad. She shouldn’t be so rude. Grunting is not a conversation. If your addiction to your phone is that bad, get help.

It’s my biggest pet peeve. If you do this, stop it.

Everyone knows I like to sing…

You could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with cell towers
Consultin’, rude, insane

And your head, you’d be scratchin’
While your thoughts were busy hatchin’
If you only had a brain.

Scooby-doobilly-do

Admit it, you just sang this song. Hahaha!

Honestly, get off your fucking phone~

Story of my life…

~GW

The End Is Near

I’ve been quiet for awhile because I’m wallowing in contemplation.

I’m looking for another job. One where I feel appreciated. A job that doesn’t cut my hours and have me begging for more. I shouldn’t have to beg. That makes me want to scream and stab everyone with a spork. Maybe it’s a dream, perhaps not.

I’m not sure I want to work for a company who doesn’t stick up for their employees. I’m tired of them siding with abusive customers all in the name of money. I don’t really understand that mentality and truthfully it’s not acceptable. There has to be something better than this. There has to be.

When you have to start taking anxiety medicine, you know it’s time to move on.

I am applying to other companies for a full time job. Wish me luck.

~GW