Atissuew

It started off as allergies today, or so I thought.

That’s right, the Germy Whisperer is deluding herself.

I know what you’re thinking…

Ha ha! Get lost, you slags. I really am ill.

Now I know I’m coming down with something. Dammit! I bet ‘ole slimy, money mouth that I mentioned in the last blog infected me.

Ugh…Sigh.

I dragged my ass at work today. I couldn’t breathe and felt really wiped out. Every hour felt like an eternity of damnation.

I partook in Nyquil, Tylenol 1`s, chicken soup and a hot bath with apple cider vinegar to kill the pestilence. I even went all out and ate a few dry crackers. I figure at this point it doesn’t matter if I over-do it with the carbs. I’ll probably be up-chucking it in an hour anyway.

Kleenex will be my intimate friend for the next few days.

I feel like shit. No…I feel worse than shit. I feel like shit that has been rolled in shit and then left on the street in extreme heat to ferment.

Thank God I don’t have to work tomorrow. Diapers aren’t a good look with my uniform. Neither is a runny clown nose, for that matter.

I need to stay home with my kitah’s. I’m feeling very cranky and might accidentally fork stab somebody. Especially a bitch…er, I mean person at work who is really getting on my nerves lately.

My fucking stomach sounds like a hyena burping the Star Spangled Banner to a dying moose.

I will be out of commission for a little while. Send me some cheer! I need it.

~GW

How To Kill A Virus.

This is not a funny blog, it’s a serious one. Seriously awesome!

Heal yourself naturally. Because inquiring minds want to know!

He’s kind of cute…but a really mean bugger!

I’m going to give you a naturopathic recipe to kill off the cold and flu virus. It’s a magical little recipe that really works and will keep you out of the doctor’s office. (And keep your money in your pocket). Plus, it will stop you from sneezing all over everyone (especially me)and spreading the nasties. Write it down.

Add:

1/2 of a pineapple, 1 large onion (in pieces), cayenne pepper (as much as you like), 4 cloves of garlic, 2 teaspoons of turmeric powder, or raw grated turmeric, 2 lemons chopped in pieces, (remove the rind), 2 tablespoons of ginger, 2 tablespoons of honey.

You can double up the recipe if you want to make more. It actually tastes better than it sounds.

Blend well. Keep in fridge. Use within 3-4 days.

Bless you! This is a public service recipe. You’re welcome!