Idiots

Ugh…please give me strength. Let me tell you what happened yesterday at work.

It’s lunch time and this young fellow walks up to my cash. He starts talking to me about how terrible it is that so much animal abuse is going on in the world. I look down at the things he’s buying. A bottle of coke – made of plastic that goes up the arses of turtles, and a sandwich encased in plastic. I’m sure that could choke a few seagulls or dolphins. I asked him where he thought sliced meat comes from.

Um….yeah. Just go and pet a few kitties, Bubbles.

“Would you like a bag?” I inquired. At this point, I just had to ask.

“Nope, I’m saving the environment,” he bellowed.

You have to fucking laugh…

Then later on in the day, a lady dumps all her groceries at customer service. Two hundred dollars worth of items on the express lane that clearly states one-eight items. I didn’t see her do it, because I stood at the other counter doing lottery.

I can’t help it, sometimes it just infuriates me. It wouldn’t be as bad if she came later in the day but four o’clock rolled around and the store was packed.

I stared at her in disbelief and said, “this is the express lane, it’s only one to eight items.”

She replied, “I know.”

Then I really felt bitchy. “If you knew that, why did you dump so many grocery items on here?”

She smirked and said, “I didn’t want to wait.”

“Please don’t do this again,” I snapped. “It backs up my line and upsets the other customers who are now inconvenienced because you did this.”

She started to bag her own groceries, as if that would make up for it. Stupid bitch. Next time I will make her collect it all and move it. Sometimes I’m too damn nice.

Honest to God. The inconsiderate entitlement of folks in my town just makes me shake my head. It’s disgusting.

Later on, I walked around the store and found eggs, milk, ice cream and strawberries just left on random shelves because somebody was too fucking lazy to put it back. Ruined and garbage. What a waste.

If you insist on being a shit-head, this is what is going to happen with your life.

~GW

Some Foods I Dig At The Supermarket

We sell over 46,000 products, but I will just mention a few that are to die for.

Yes…look at it. Gaze upon its splendor~

Portuguese flat chicken.

The first time I tried it, I couldn’t believe how amazing it tastes. Hats off to the Portuguese, that’s all I can say. I literally couldn’t stop eating it and said out loud, “where have you been all my life?” Okay, so it wasn’t a very happy end for the chicken, but if God didn’t want us to eat meat why did he make it taste so freakin’ delicious? You purchase it in a package, the chicken is already flattened like it was squashed by a run away train. You stick it on a pan and bake it at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. That’s it!

Easy peasy, stick it in my gob. Rip it apart and eat it like a slob. 😀

Then~

There’s a new grape on the market called, Sweet Sapphires. They are seedless, dark on the outside and green on the inside. Sure, they’re genetically modified, but they taste so delicious. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing the flavour is. I must warn you though, it’s like getting addicted to crack cocaine. Once you bite into the crunchy finger shaped tubes of goodness, there’s no going back. Your brain goes into a mind-bending blur, your mouth drools like Homer Simpson, and before you know it they’re gone. You’ll be hooked for life.

Lastly~

Organic navel oranges.

They MUST BE organic because the flavour is different. They are out of this world in taste. Sure they are more expensive, but they are worth it. They transport me to a different place when I eat them. Lip smackin’ ecstasy.

And now for a public service announcement~

Many bottled waters come from the tap. Yes, you heard me right, it’s true.

Water companies like to promote their products alongside images of natural springs and ice-topped mountains, but many of them are simply elaborately filtered from the tap. Products previously implicated include Coca-Cola’s Dasani and PepsiCo’s Aquafina.

So before you start dishing out your hard earned cash thinking you’re keeping your pineal gland free of calcium and fluoride, think again. You’ve been duped. Turtles in the oceans everywhere are getting plastic up their asses for nothing.

Are there any foods you love from the grocery store? Let me know about it.

~GW